How Happiness Sneaks Up on Us If We Stop Chasing It

One day a person  met a hungry tiger. He ran. The tiger pursued  him. Coming to a cliff, he jumped, catching hold of a tree root to prevent himself falling to the bottom where, horror upon horror, another tiger waited to eat him.

He hung on for dear or precious  life to that very skinny  root.

Then a little mouse came and started to nibble at the root. The mouse was hungry and also the fibers begins to snap.

Just then, the person  saw a ripe red strawberry near him, growing from the cliff face. Holding the vine  with one hand, he picked the strawberry with the other hand .

How sweet it tasted! How happy he was!

 We have a tendency to get  happiness from outside. We see it as a consequence of things on the far side  ourselves. As if happiness was a perk of a brand new job, a company car, or access to the gym, or some secret area in a house we want, one day, to occupy.

But happiness isn't a by-product. Happiness is.

We seek happiness from outside, extrinsically, ignoring that it lives only inside. Happiness is intrinsic.

The things that come to us from outside, accidental  rewards,  don't seem  in our control. To believe  them for happiness is to put ourselves at the mercy of fate and luck. If we discover happiness within, though, it 's truly ours. We can learn to nurture it.

Like a grouchy old house cat that may not allow you to pet her, spurns the food you lovingly put out, and hisses if you get too close, happiness will, unexpectedly, flrx on your lap and comfort you from time to time.

Does this mean that we cannot make ourselves happy? That happiness is temproary or unfair and we must suffer until it visits us?

Though we have a tendency to can’t force that grouchy old cat to come, we can learn to sit quietly, giving her space and encouragement. We can learn to quieten our mind and permit the happiness of  being alive —in this moment—to enter us. We will invite happiness in, by gap to that.

Not doing things to become happy. Holding  ourselves be happy.

If I stop seeking outside of myself and begin experiencing what it is to live this moment, then happiness would possibly flex in my chest and comfort me.

Happiness lives on a mountain in a summer gale. It sneaks into an early morning hospital room. It is here now if, between one word and the next, I pause my typing, and I wait.

It lives inside me, not in things that I need , or suppose I want.

It’s here.

Now is a good time to be happy.

Now is the only time there is.

I am grateful I'm here, now.

I am grateful that, somewhere inside me, now, there’s happiness and if I stop searching for it out there, may be  it'll come back to take a seat on my lap.

How sweet it tasted! How happy he was!

Read More

How to Overcome Frustration

 Frustration. It winds you up and should  take the foremost out of you.

Because it not only sucks energy but also distracts you and can steal quite a bit of time.

So what can you do?

Well, sometimes  that frustration can actually be a positive and can give you a new idea or angle on things. Or it can give you the power to keep going just a little bit more until you reach your goal.

But when you begin moving  into circles, once the frustration simply  makes you mad or your mind foggy and the day is begining  to slip through your fingers then there are steps you'll take.

There are ways to turn such a state of mind or day around.

Into something better. Into something more helpful. And into something that will make you feel better again.

Step 1: Be here now.

When you're frustrated or annoyed  then you are usually  somewhere within the future in your mind. Somewhere you want  you'ld be. Or you are experiencing  a stumble or failure from your past.

Snap out of these  headspaces and quiet  down by focusing your mind and a spotlight on what's currently, right here at this moment.

You can do so by for example:

Focusing on your breathing.

Sit down, close your eyes and simply concentrate  on the air going and out of your nose for 1-2 minutes.

Take calm and slightly deeper breaths than usual and breathe together with your belly and not your chest.

Focus on what's around you at this time.

The sun shining in through your window. The children playing out in the street and the cars and people going by. The smells and feeling of the clothes and heat of the sun on your skin.

Do this for 1-2 minutes to induce or get  your attention back to this moment.

Step 2: Appreciate what you do have.

After you have got force your attention back to wherever  it may  be most useful focus it on what's still positive in your life.

The quickest and simplest way to do so is to focus it on appreciating what you are doing  have.

A favorite of mine throughout  this step is that the necessary  things we have a tendency to might typically deem  granted.  Like for instance:

• A warm home and a roof over your head.
• Plenty of drinkable water.
• Not having to go hungry.
• Access to the internet (and maybe your own place to precise yourself).
• Your friends and family.

Spend some  minutes on this and you’ll notice abundant to be grateful for.

Step 3: Focus on what you can do right now.

With your attention in the present moment and your mood a more grateful and positive one it is now time to get constructive about what frustrates you.

You can do that by asking yourself:

What is one small step I will take right away to enhance this situation?

It may be to see what you can learn from what frustrates you and to try another path towards your goal.

Or it can be to do an extra time and to keep going (because not all things in life will come to you the first, second or third time you try).

Or it can be you just  realizing that you may have taken on a bit much lately or things have been tough and that you need to take this evening or a few days to just relax, take care of yourself and perhaps simplify a bit.

So that you can recharge and then get back into moving towards what you want out of your life in a more focused way.

 

Read More

How to Stop Anxiety Feelings

 

                                                                         

                                                          

When it comes to mental health, anxiety is a common term. In fact, anxiety disorders are the most frequently diagnosed mental disorders. Nevertheless, anxiety is a natural feeling that every human will experience.

It is important to note the difference between diagnosable anxiety disorders and the feeling of anxiety.

Anxiety must impact the day-to-day functioning of an individual in order for a diagnosis to be given. Anxiety that limits an individual’s ability to work, socialize or function in society is usually considered a moderate to severe anxiety disorder.

In general, anxiety is a feeling related to fear. It is an adaptive response that allows humans to function in their environment. In other words, anxiety helps to detect threats in the environment. Anxiety may help people respond to stressors or emergencies and overcome challenges.

Some individuals may find themselves in the “subthreshold” area of anxiety. These individuals do not have enough symptoms to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder but may have enough symptoms to interfere with their quality of life.

Overall, anxiety is a natural feeling that may be eased by natural remedies. The following tips with teach you how to stop anxiety feelings with 8 natural remedies.

In the modern world of productivity and busy schedules, anyone can benefit by learning how to stop anxiety feelings. These strategies are designed for people with mild or subthreshold anxiety symptoms who are not diagnosed with anxiety. These natural remedies may aid in relieving feelings of anxiety with minimal side effects.

These techniques may be considered complementary or alternative therapies. They are designed to compliment medical or mental health treatment. Consider your unique medical and mental health profile before attempting any of these strategies.

 Spend Time In Nature

Spending time outdoors can have a calming effect on the mind and body. For best results, aim to get outdoors for 20 to 30 minutes, 3 days per week.

Here are some of the benefits of spending time in nature:

• Lowered blood pressure
• Reduced stress
• Decreased anxiety
• Increased immune-system
• Increased self-esteem
• Improved mood

In a study of psychiatric patents, nature was shown to decrease loneliness, increase calm and improve mood. Time spent in nature has also been shown to aid in recovery after surgery and assist with pain reduction.

Ecotherapy is a form of therapy that links the health of the planet to the health of humans. Forms of ecotherapy such as green space and wilderness therapy have been correlated with increased life span and decreased mental disorders. Wilderness therapy has also been shown to assist with anxiety and stress reduction.

While most forms of ecotherapy require the presence of a therapist, nature is also considered a pathway towards healing. In some cases, animals are utilized to assist in the healing process. Overall, nature is an abundant resource that everyone can access to help stop anxiety feelings.

 Write Down Your Thoughts

Journaling is a simple strategy with enormous benefits. Journaling helps to cope with anxiety, stress and depression. Journaling  can be a great way to develop self-awareness, track patterns and decrease the intensity of emotions. For best results, make a daily habit of writing.

In order to gain the most benefits from journaling, it is important to notice negative or cyclical thinking and attempt to shift the pattern. If you are continually writing down negative thoughts, emotions or behaviors then it may reinforce feelings of anxiety.

Here’s how to stop anxiety feelings with journaling:

1. Set aside a portion of time to simply write whatever comes to mind. Allow yourself to brain-dump anything and everything onto the paper. Set a timer between 5-10 minutes.
2. Once the timer goes off, take a moment to breathe and reflect. Without judgement, notice your thoughts, emotions and sensations. Set a timer between 5-20 minutes for this mindfulness activity.
3. Return to the journal with the intention of writing positive thoughts. You may choose to focus on feelings of gratitude, things that are going well or reflect upon times when you overcame anxiety, worry or stress.

Practice Yoga or Meditation

Yoga is a natural remedy for anxiety that combines body movements, breathing and mindfulness. There is evidence to suggest that yoga can help calm the stress response, which contributes to feelings of anxiety. Yoga may also help improve the body’s ability to cope with stress. Therefore, yoga offers both short- and long-term natural anxiety relief.[8]

There any many different ways to practice yoga . Some yoga sequences are designed to energize while others are intended to elicit calm. Almost every yoga class is designed to build an awareness around the body and breath. It might be necessary to try a variety of teachers or practices in order to find the right fit.

Read More

What If Your “Overthinking” Is Actually Good for You?

It sucks to stay up until 2 AM, worrying about what’s going to happen the next day. It sucks to check and recheck your bag to make sure that you haven’t forgotten anything important. It sucks to spend all of your time stressing instead of living.

But, honestly, your overthinking isn’t all unhealthy.

You’re the type of the person who is always ready. No matter what life throws at you, you discover the way to handle it.

You have got the entire world packed within your purse. Tissues, safety pins, hand sanitizer, granola bars — you lug around something that would possibly come in handy. You’re the mamma of your group, the person who will always be relied on, the person who always saves the day.

You’re the friend everyone desire that they had. If somebody asks you for advice, you don’t tell them the first thing that pops into your head, the words that you simpy assume they want to hear. You actually take a second to step into their shoes, to try to figure out what the correct move would be.

Your friends love you, as a result of you truly give a shit about regarding solution of their problems. Your parents love you, as a result you usually  answer their calls. Your pet loves you, as a result you always give them their meals on time.

And your boss loves you, because you never show up late. You leave your house early enough to be ready for traffic, for road work, for any inconvenience that would arise. You think ahead.

You have the potential to form it way together with your career, because you go the extra mile. You do things that majority of people would be too lazy to try to do. You put in additional effort.

You ace interviews, as a result of  you spend the whole night before thinking about the queries that would be asked and answering them within your head. You ace tests, because you spend hours upon hours learning. You try your hardest to succeed at everything you are doing.

You’re talented when it comes to managing time. You pick out your outfits and plan your meals the night before a big day, which saves you an hour in the morning. You put your gas in your automobile far before it reaches empty, so you never break down. You’re on top of your shit.

Your overthinking has turned you into someone responsible, someone that has a good head on their shoulders, someone that is aware of what they’re doing.

There’s not much that surprises you in life, because you’re always ready for any potential situation. You’ve considered of all of the angles. You’ve thought everything through.

As long as you don’t go overboard together with your overthinking, running the same situations through your head on a loop till you hyperventilate, then maybe those thoughts are okay.

Sometimes your overthinking stresses you out, but sometimes, it saves
you. Sometimes, it’s actually a good thing.

Read More

Why Chasing Happiness Won’t Make You Happy

 

“Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will evade you, but if you notice the other things around you, it will gently come and sit on your shoulder.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Most people are continuously  on the lookout for a giant breakthrough—a purpose  in our life wherever the  balance tips to maximal happiness therfore we can enjoy everlasting bliss. What will have a tendency to do to induce there?

Our pursuit of happiness is sort of  a coyote chasing a roadrunner. But what happens? Just like the roadrunner, happiness slips out of our hands every single time. This leads us to many  questions…

What if the pursuit of happiness is never-ending? Have we ever considered the caveats of  chasing happiness? To save you from months of misery, I’ll share a little of my life experience. From being a typical college kid to suffering from depression, it was my pursuit of happiness that brought me down.

The Obsession Phase

It was 2018. I was obsessed with smartphones , and my average screen time per day was ten hours. Getting stuck in a vicious cycle of Whatsapp, Games , and YouTube for hours left me miserable and sluggish. In a vain attempt to gain my life back, I deleted all games and social media accounts. Every game went right out the window.

Fast-forward fifteen days later, my daily screen time still averaged around eight to ten hours. I was the most hard-core addict you could ever find. It wasn’t a good sign, and I desperately wanted to relieve myself from the clutches of my smartphone. So this time I did something different: I sold my smartphone.

It was a “life-altering experience.” It filled me with eternal joy right away, and… okay, I’m gonna stop lying. I just wanted to pretend to be an Instagram influencer who ditches their phones for thirty days and claims the experience to be life-changing! As if it could be that easy.

The truth is, quitting my smartphone sucked. Over seven hours of free time with nothing to do. I felt like my head was gonna shatter into a million pieces. I was bored to tears during the first few days, and I spent much of my time staring at my friends with their shiny little companions. Days rolled by…

One fine day an idea for a short story popped in my mind. It was about a young girl who lost her boxer dad in a fight and lives in poverty with her mother. She’s guided by a guy at school, and they develop a sort of “brother from another mother” relationship. He lifts her up, and she does the same when he falls back.

With nothing much to do, and with zero expectations, I started writing.

Every evening after college, I raced to the library to write my story. Weeks passed and I finished my first draft. Guess what? I published it too… packed with tons of typos and errors, but still, I did it!

Luckily, my compassionate friends overlooked my errors and still read the entire thing. And they (kind of) liked it. Not that I was some writing prodigy or whatever, but it wasn’t bad for a first timer. This kindled writing dreams in me… and things started going downhill from here.

It wasn’t that I’d write all the time; I’d spend most of my mornings procrastinating, sitting before my desk or banging my head on it for ideas. I fixated on the idea that more work = better chances of success = better chances of becoming happy. The lack of sleep, bit by bit, was taking a toll on my body, and I was turning into an impulsive, depressed, insomniac zombie.

Though I sat before my laptop for almost one-third of the day, I could have achieved the same amount of work in a single hour. I got carried away with my false definition of success, and this distanced me from my friends, which I’m not proud to admit.

But a book intervened and saved me from becoming a zombie who feasts on his roommate’s brain for breakfast. The chapter on the importance of sleep made me realize how dumb I’d been. I finally understood the workaholic madness I was under.

The Recovery Phase

I started sleeping seven to eight hours per night, despite my fear of becoming less productive. I started hanging around with friends, went to movies, and took a few short trips as well. But none of this was possible in my workaholic days. It was all work-work-work.

A week later, I realized I got more quality work done in one to two hours than I was able to achieve in eight, when I was getting poor quality sleep. And with each passing month, things got better and better. This got me thinking…

“Why am I so happy even though I’m working less? Why am I happy even though I’m not trying to be  happy?”

That’s when I stumbled upon this idea.

How Happiness Works

Psst… I am gonna tell you how happiness works. (Cue drumroll) Happiness is an effect, not a cause nor a destination. Let me explain…

If you’re trying to be happy, you think of it as a destination—somewhere to get to in the future after you do all the right things. Now think of all the moments you were happy: When you passed an exam after multiple attempts, hung out with your friends, celebrated your birthday, danced at a party, played a sport, went on vacations. All these things have two things in common.

• The activities themselves generate happiness.
• You don’t set out to achieve happiness. Instead, you enjoy the activity.

I hung around my friends and went to movies because I love doing this stuff. This generates happiness. I never intended to become happy by watching a flick, I just wanted to enjoy a movie, and I felt happy as a result.

Chasing happiness is counterintuitive.

Think back to your childhood days. Did you ever sit by yourself debating what makes you happy? If you’d find happiness by playing cricket or LEGO blocks? You did things if you liked them, not because you intellectually decided they were the key to happiness.

So instead of asking what makes you happy, ask what do you enjoy doing?

I enjoy the following things. Maybe something here could work for you.

How Can You Enjoy Life More?

Passion

Cultivate a love for something. Research shows having a passion increases our happiness  well-being. Art, music, writing, gardening, cooking, programming, dance, designing are a few examples out of a million. If you are trying to find your passion, there are a couple things you need to know,

Passion never turns up at your doorstep. You have to create it. This means that you keep working on random things that in turn produce your love for an activity, not the other way around.

The only reason to be passionate about something is because you love the activity in itself, not because you can make money out of it. And it’s totally cool if you don’t make money out of your passion—when you follow your passion it doesn’t feel like work, right? 

Strive for Work/Life Balance

Whether you’re eighteen or eighty, you won’t be happy if you overwork yourself, nor if you spend all your time binge-watching TV shows. Always try to have a balance so you have time to get things done, time to enjoy things you love, and time to simply be.

Channel Your Stress Well

It’s easier to binge Netflix after a tiring day at work. But how about working out, go for a  walk,  or playing with friends ? Find things that you enjoy and channel your stress that way instead of mindlessly scrolling social media. 

Socialize

Human beings are social creatures, so let’s act like it. Go on a adventurous trip, plan a game night with friends (virtual or in person), or simply have dinner with your family together. Odds are, when you’re laughing with people you love you’ll be so present in the moment you won’t think about anything, let alone finding happiness.

Take care of the body you live in

Good rest powers you up for a great day, whereas sleep deprivation destroys your mood and your health. So sleep well, and go for walk daily  to get your blood and endorphins flowing. You needn’t bench 300 pounds. A fifteen-minute jog would do the job.

—

So to summarize: Stop chasing happiness, it makes your life worse. Engage yourself in activities that you enjoy in a variety of fields, e.g.: socializing, passion, hobbies. Sleep well and stay human. Zombies have a terrible reputation on our planet, so don’t become one.

Read More

Reminders That May Comfort You When You Feel Anxious

 What actually is anxiety?

Anxiety is a common emotion when dealing with daily stresses and problems. But when these emotions are persistent, excessive and irrational, and affect a person’s ability to function, anxiety becomes a disorder. There are different types of anxiety disorders, including phobias, panic and stress disorders, and obsessive compulsive disorder. Though Anxiety have both physical and mental symptoms too and we can't just will it away, there are things we can do it to calm ourselves.Next time you’re feeling anxious, remember what I  shared :

1. This can pass, and more quickly if you don’t resist it.

It’s a wave I need to  let hit me and ride till it passes. Fighting it prolongs it and turns it into a riptide. ~Lori Craven

If you just  let the current carry you to where it'll for a little while, the river can eventually spit you out. Just go with it and it’s going to be okay. ~Renee Breuer

2. You will be able to  get through this and this can make you stronger.

I verbally acknowledge and cue  my inner child that it’s okay, and “Adult Doug” can  take care of it. That’s where the anxiety arises from. I know as an adult that my success rate of surviving any crises I’ve faced is 100 percent. My very little inner “Doug” gets frightened  and feels anxious, afraid, and insecure, therefore  I simply  tell him that I have it in control. ~Doug Marcum

I will  handle no matter what  happens. I always have, one way or another. If things don’t work out the way I expect then that’s okay too. The anxiety can pass and I will be stronger afterward. ~Suzy Wedley

3. You are safe.

I breathe and repeat to myself: “I’m safe. I’m okay. I will lookout  of myself. I am powerful. I am important.” Repeating it helps me refocus. ~Ida Zakin

The situation isn’t life or death. I’ll live to examine another day despite the end result. ~Claire Denney

My mantra: “It’s just adrenaline. It can’t hurt you,it'll pass.” ~Chuck Striler

4. Your body is trying to protect you.

I’m not a dying zebra! I watched something that said stress imay be  a natural part of our fight or flight response, that is helpful if you’re on the savanna running from a hungry lion. ~Jenn Miles

Anxiety is my body’s way of trying to guard me. My body has good intentions. It’s just a little misguided. I’m grateful for my body’s protection. ~Jenny Britt

5. The past and future cannot hurt you in the present.

I try to think about what is causing me anxiety, and it is typically a thought or thoughts about the past or future. I remind myself that I am okay during this moment, and all we ever have is this moment. It helps me. ~Angela Regan-Storvick

6. Thoughts can only hurt you if you give them power.

Since mine stems from thoughts that then spiral, I remind myself that thoughts are just that. They do not have to get meaning attached to them if I do not let them. Let them come in and out and give them no power, no meaning. Do not fuel them but let them come and go. . ~April Rutledge

7. Worrying will not change the outcome.

I remind myself that my worrying will not change the outcome—never has and never will. Then I focus on what I’m grateful for, things that are beautiful and wonderful in my life right now. And lastly I repeat this: “I let go and I trust that I am being taken care of.” ~Joie Kreze

8. What’s worrying you is temporary.

I try to remind myself that whatever is causing my anxiety is temporary and if I’m patient, it will be resolved. ~Jess Swanson

I try very hard to remember that for most situations, they will pass whether I get all stressed out or not. ~Karen Jane Lehman

9. You have everything you need.

I try to remind myself that I have what I need: air, water, food, clothing, shelter. Then I remind myself to keep things in perspective and that I can choose how I am. ~Lorna Lewis

10. You’re stronger than you think.

I get anxiety over little things and I have to remind myself of how much I have overcome. If I can get through two brain surgeries, four different types of radiation treatment, Thyroidectomy for Thyroid Cancer, and a left neck dissection, I can get through the little stuff. Sometimes you just have to push through the discomfort of the situation and see it will be fine. ~Sara Ruggiero

11. There’s a lot going right.

I concentrate on what positive is going on right now this minute. I am safe, I am not hungry, I have a good job, a husband that loves me, my family is safe and healthy. I keep going until I feel the tension fading. Then slowly but surely I can clear my head enough to take on what lies ahead of me. ~Birgit Gerwig

Things could be worse. I have my health. I try to count my blessings. ~Colleen Tayler

12. You are not alone.

Know you’re not alone. Others are struggling with something as well. We’re all in this together! ~‪Meriansman

13. Things often aren’t as bad as they seem.

Four by four, how will I feel about this? Will it still seem huge and overwhelming looking back in four days, four weeks, four months, four years? It helps me to put things in perspective . ~Jacqui Learmonth

I ask myself, “Am I, or is someone I love in danger right now, in this moment?” 99.9% of the time, the answer is no, so I do some breathing and relaxation exercises to calm my mind and deal with the situation from a healthier perspective. ~Celeste Rothstein

I ask myself: What are the most important things in my life, and then focus on that. What I am stressing about usually isn’t one of the important things. ~Nicole Neubauer

14. You can calm yourself by focusing on your breath.

Give your brain a simple task. Sit and breathe. Stare at a wall. Put yourself in time out and inhale slowly. You are not wasting your time. Thoughts will float into your mind. Let them keep floating. Re-align your spine as you sit. And breathe. Take ten minutes if you can. If you can’t, even a minute is better than nothing. ~Dabe Charon

Inhale for four counts, hold for seven counts, exhale for eight counts. ~Lisa Martinez 

Breathe. If that doesn’t work I run. It forces me to regulate my breathing. This will calm my body down forcing my mind to calm down as well. ~Carolyn Stennard

15. Trust can sometimes be the antidote to anxiety.

Trust and anxiety are mutually exclusive so focus on trust, whatever you can trust at the moment, and anxiety moves out. ~Alexia Bogdis

16. It helps to focus on what you can control.

“One step at a time.” I tend to become anxious because I worry and overthink things that I can’t control and may or may not happen in the future. So I started to think this in my head whenever I notice the feeling creeping up. To take action one step at a time on something that I can control and let the rest run its course. ~Adelia Benalius

17. You don’t need to have everything figured out right now.

Sometimes it’s not enough to take it day by day. Sometimes, it’s hour by hour, or even minute by minute. And if I breathe and stay calm, I can make better decisions to effect positive change with the situation with which I’m dealing. ~Susan Stephenitch

18. Getting it out can help you let it go.

Write it down, get it off your chest, relax, make a plan of attack. Do something instead of worrying. Don’t let it take away today’s peace. Nothing stays the same! ~Lisa Marie Wilson

19. You deserve your own love and compassion.

Anxiety can often come from a place of judgment of the self. Stop, breathe, and surrender to self-compassion. ~‪Christine Strauss‪

20. You are loved and supported.

I think of all the people who love me. I picture their faces and I imagine myself surrounded by a bubble of love, and as I’m breathing deeply I’m breathing that love in and out. ~Conni Wrightsman

I have attached a case about Marie

https://www.headstogether.org.uk/maries-story/#:~:text=Within%20six%20months%20my%20life,able%20to%20stick%20with%20it.

There are lots of many cases of peoples you found at all.

You are not alone, you will overcome this and you are such a unique and phenomenal person, your life is going to be amazing.Keep happy forever!!!

Read More